Welcome
At DavidSligarRemains (yes, I'm still here, despite relentless addiction issues, 6 years in hospice with an ALS diagnosis, 7 more in asst. living, CIDP (chronic inflammatory demyelinating polyradiculopathy), and an incarceration bordering on a living hell). I wish to share my experiences (and those of others) regarding the unending pursuit of reconciliation, being made right in a world which is largely opposed to that goal. From birth on, we are all about the self. Thank God I have found, the hard way, that it's not about me at all. It's about finding my Creator, becoming more and more intimate with Him in the brief time we have been given, and extending the opportunity to access the process that achieves this goal most readily...the gift of reconciliation activated in our individual lives and the lives of others. There are certain keys that move one along on this most wonderful trajectory. I'll do my utmost to convey as best I can what I've personally discovered, alongside some of the many profound thinkers past, and a few current, who also know this truth to be accessible. So hop aboard the Recon101 train and see for yourself how wonderful life can be. It truly is the most amazing discovery, gratifying to the ultimate, and it's right there before us to realize.
The Biggest Questions of ALL: WHO AM I, and WHY AM I HERE? ( a bit of verbiage before the blogs)
Life Between the Numbers
How it all happened; who, what, when, where and why:
In 1954 a baby was born 2 a.m., February 3rd, in a relatively obscure hospital called St, Johns. In the near middle of Texas it was cold. The boy swears he can remember going from glorious serenity in his mother June's belly, to the sheer terror of the stainless steel antiseptic brightness of the rude new world. It was a feeling never quite forgotten. Yet he was born of loving caring folk in a most unusual upbringing. His father's old fashioned drugstore was to be a favorite playground for him and his brother, Paul. In the corner of an eight story hotel called the Angelus adjacent to the county courthouse they played to their heart's content; up and down the wooden staircase, a basement lift rising to the sidewalk, garment district style for the delivery boy, the basement with the giant safe, the myriad bottles of this and that, along with the store itself upstairs, booths for the "fountain" customers, rotating stools at the counter, blue mirrored glass everywhere it seemed; yes, this was a special place indeed. They had room to roam in the old hotel as well. In "the store," his family's term of endearment then and after the move across the street next to West Texas' Neiman Marcus, a department store called Hemphill Wells; a certain enchantment never diminished over the years. His first birthday was there, and he thinks he can remember that, too. His first paying job was there, tending the fountain at age 11. Then he was delivery boy, driving the WWII jeep all over town, 2-way radio always on to connect to his father. But the biggest impact was the overarching philosophy that our drugstore, the store, could cure any and all ills. There was a pill for everything. (Much more about this to come.) Living on the lake was an adventure, another enchanted environ to grow up with brother Paul. Regardless of where though, I was insecure, self conscious, scared of imaginary threats and always wondering? Why am I really here? Never, until 1996, did I know there were meds to help with this profound depression. Till then, it was self medicating, beating a dead horse, as it were. Discovering pharmaceutical panaceas such as cocaine hydrochloride in the store only exacerbated things, temporary relief at best, a decades long recurring problem unsolved until the late 90s. Thank God, solved it was, in the most dramatic means possible.
Selah...
"Everything beneath the moon is on the move; time knows nothing of rest. The solid earth is a rolling ball, and the great sun itself a star obediently fulfilling its course around some greater luminary. Change and death rule everywhere....Human beings are born only to die: everything is hurry, worry and vexation of spirit. Friend of the unchanging Jesus, what a joy it is to reflect upon your changeless heritage; your sea of bliss which will be forever full, since God Himself shall pour eternal rivers of pleasure into it. We seek an abiding city beyond the skies, and we shall not be disappointed." Charles Spurgeon
(Hospice E-Book...)
"I will dwell in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they shall be my people...""I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, and you shall be my sons and daughters, Says the LORD Almighty."
POSSIBLE...
(All Things Are)!
Here to Share, Nothing but Truth and Hope! Reconciled...
My blog (silly word) will more completely explain the mechanics of such a powerful philosophy. Addiction followed me for decades, diminished occasionally in marriage, fatherhood, the Albuquerque experiment, living amongst believers on a 40 acre farm in the south valley where I was introduced to Christ as a person rather than a distant deity known only by creed and hymn every Sunday. The southern California experiment, theology school, odd jobs (caretaking thoroughbreds in the Anaheim Hills?), but most importantly Sharon, mother to our 3 children, and best wife one could ever have. The Golden, Colorado years, Sarah was born, worked as an apartment manager and train operator in a molybdenum mine. Then Nebraska, of all places, then Austin, Melissa's birth following Rebecca Claire and her untimely departure at 4 months at the baby sitter's (SIDS). (Privileged: Board of Trustees SIDS, studio certified for Austin Access Television producing PSAs for SIDS, management Austin Cable, IBM operator, back to West Texas after legal troubles, an interdisciplinary fine arts degree to teach, a paralegal degree (notions of prelaw), a Masters Public Administration, a brief tenure at private school as art/music teacher, public schools art teacher, fine arts and recording studio, back to the ranch, then catastrophe. )
About That...
One of the most humiliating experiences one can have is prison. I'd seen it briefly already, the drugstore mindset, whatever needed to make me right was on the shelves; substitute for the cocaine and alcohol by utilizing pharmaceuticals. Steady job, beautiful family, not much involvement with the underworld, yet nothing overcame self will to fix my brain. "Rehab, what's that? Fix it yourself, it's the Texas way." Then there's the showdown on the family ranch. Trespassing knife--wielding coke dealer charging through the gate to the big house, furious that I refuse cartel access to the 3800 acre ranch. Parents are there. I shoot from behind, my knee jerk addled reaction. "Sign for 35 and you will be out in 17.5," they said. I wanted a trial. Wanted to tell thousands of friends, family, community what really happened. But no, all the papers said was that I shot someone on the ranch and surreptitiously deposited him in at the lake house (my insane cocaine brain telling me to preserve the Heritage Ranch, an honor the state of Texas had bestowed upon the 120 year old ranch, by getting the frozen body elsewhere at all costs). Macabre, ridiculously so; yet noone knows their capacity for extremes until they do. Beyond calling 911 for help, which I actually had in hand, the dye was cast. I had taught art to hundreds and hundreds, thousands really; art, sometimes music, in all the 29 schools in town, even 2 years at the private Christian school. Now, 2 masters and DCE. in Christian Ed., 29.5 years later, I remain, alive to tell the tale. I spent 6 years in hospice with an ALS diagnosis, years in asst. living besides, and now am learning to walk again. In that time I learned about True Christianity. It is being completely reconciled, made new. It is the penultimate existence, reality-based union with Father, Son and Spirit. One's heart changes and everything related. "Out of the heart are the issues of life," isn't simply a quick phrase by Solomon the wise, but real life. "Keep the heart," is the first part of that and puts the onus squarely where it belongs. Self. Plato said the unexamined life is not worth living. Not for self's sake but for ultimate reality, for victorious living, for literal contact with the Creator in real time. For Him. I'll vlog and blog this ultimate existence, but leave you with this: "If you are in Christ," (what an IF), "you have been reconciled" (made absolutely right); old things are passed away; behold, all things have become new..." (II Corinthians 5:17) Now is this the most wonderful thing ever? It's more real than anything you've ever known, guaranteed. More to come...
Blogs (vlogs on Facebook, as mentioned)
Number One Blogorama
Well Campers, it's about time for a little blog. A lot of what I will say is found in the writings of C.H. Spurgeon. In the ebook I wrote over 6 years in Hospice, "God's Waiting Room; 40 Days From Hospice to my Children's Children," by David Warren (middle name), probably 60% is Spurgeon. (Dictating with recorders ( my hands largely useless by then), transcribed to Dragon by my sister; I pondered dying, the ALS thing, heaven, life between the numbers- birth to death here on planet earth, and Reconciling with God and others, narrated specifically to each of my magnificent grandchildren.) Spurgeon did much to transform London and its surroundings from the ravages of industrialization in the mid to late 1800s. Crime, poverty, smog, child labor, prostitution, sewage, ubiquitous alcoholism and a host of other maladies were rampant in and about the City of London. It was not a pleasant place to be. Charles Haddon Spurgeon came upon the scene mid century as a boy caught in a snowstorm. It was a Blizzard actually, and he was on his way to an Anglican service, when he was caught in the intense storm and forced into a small church where a few were gathering out of the storm. He heard a lay preacher, in his words, tell him about Christ Jesus as an individual Person he could actually come to know, the actual Son of God, dying expressly for him. He felt like he was talking to him alone. He asked him if he knew Christ Jesus, actually knew Him. Spurgeon's exposure to Christ, as was mine, consisted of third person references, theological constructs which made Christ, just as God the Father and God the Holy Spirit, far removed from everyday realities. We would see them (Him, the One God in three persons) when we got to heaven, and that was that. This speaker was telling him something fantastical. And Spurgeon felt the very hand of God then and there. And the way that he presented Christ made him utterly irresistible. Spurgeon says that God chose him to be His child in an instant. He walked out of that church and everything was new. The snowflakes were a wonder and became spectacularly magnificent to him. Everything was changed. From that time on he dedicated himself to the proposition of spreading the gospel (Good News). He established orphanages, homes for women, wrote thousands of sermons, preached them and was greatly afflicted when he did so. In addition to severe depression, which I have also struggled with, he suffered from gout and other painful maladies. He originated a church seating 10,000 people called the Metropolitan Tabernacle, and preached without any kind of amplification using his bare voice. Millions of individuals we're changed. He authored extensive commentaries on Scripture, as well as books on how to live. One of them called "Morning and Evening," was given to me when I was in Hospice. I have been reading it faithfully ever since, benefiting from his wisdom and encouragement. So I will share one of these with you in this brief blog and try to relate it to our situation. When I say our situation I'm referring to the fact that we need MORE. We need more in life. If you're like me you need to be full. Full of wonder, full of life, full of energy, full of peace and tranquility. As I've said, The only way to truly achieve this is to become new. Reconciled. It's an art form, achieved only by the very hand of God through His Holy Spirit. Through Christ the individual is literally transformed into a new creation. The reborn individual begins joyfully living for God as his literal son or daughter, on into eternity and forever. It begins when we give our lives to our Creator exclusively, leaving our self centered lives in favor of letting God Almighty, through Father, Son and Holy Spirit take over. Repenting for our past self centered living apart from Him, and expressing a desire to live for and in our Triune Creator, this spiritual reality is enacted. Instead of our self centered natures, simply by asking God to take over, we begin the New Nature; Reconciled, made right (truly Saved, from a life estranged from Him). Spurgeon pontificated on this full and wonderful new life eloquently. It is our great privilege to feast upon his profound wisdom.
On the morning of December 20 Spurgeon is commenting on First Samuel 7:12, "thus far the Lord has helped us." "The words 'thus far' seem like a hand pointing in the direction of the past; 20 years and 70, and yet thus far the Lord has helped us! Through poverty, through wealth, through sickness, through health, at home, abroad, on the land, on the sea, in honor, and dishonor, and perplexity, and joy, and trials, in prayer, in temptation, 'Thus far' the Lord helped us! We enjoy looking down a long avenue of trees It is delightful to gaze from one end of the long Vista to the others, a sort of verdant temple, with its branching pillars and its arches of leaves; Even so look down the long aisles of your years, at the great green boughs of mercy overhead, and the strong pillars of loving kindness and faithfulness which bear up your joys. Are there no birds singing in yonder branches next? Surely there must be many, and they all sing of mercy received thus far." I used to have a small poster in my room in Hospice with such a lane reaching into the distance with magnificent trees on each side, an absolutely beautiful beckoning. Many days I gazed into the beauteous pathway thinking of my eternal home. Scripture tells us we are but strangers here, pilgrims, sojourners. Our true home is eternal, with our Creator forever. And nowhere was there a place better to contemplate such a profound truth as in my hospice bed. "But the road also points forward, no more of failures and toils, but victories There is still more awakening in Jesus likeness, the face of Jesus, the society of Saints, the glory of God, the fullness of eternity, the Infinity of bliss! Oh be of good courage believer, and with grateful confidence say, 'thus far the Lord has helped us,' for when we read in heaven's light how glorious and marvelous a prospect will your 'thus far' unfold to your grateful eye."
Now my comment on his commentary is to reiterate that once we get with the program, as such, and become one with the Almighty, we can begin to chart our journey as New Creations. We can say 'thus' far as we establish our own pillars of growth in our lives. Along that tree lined road to heaven, our new Christian lives are ever upwards. A magnificent trajectory indeed. Proverbs tells us that the way of God is up. It is ever so.
Number Two Blogorama
Hello Campers, and welcome to the furtherance of excellence in all regards. I dearly wish to share Pascal, renowned philosopher/mathematician, but first should follow up on THUS FAR, from previous blog. That focused on looking at what God has done for us already, whether you're Christ follower or otherwise, He has miraculously carried and sustained you physically amidst environmental onslaught, mentally against eventual insanity, and kept you from the total enslavement of the entirety of your being by the evil one (who I generally refer to as the enemy). To our trusted C.H. Spurgeon we will first go, who shares with us in his morning of November 8th devotion on Colossians 2:6, "As you received Christ Jesus as Lord." (Now we've said that receiving Christ as a personage in your ongoing existence is tantamount to the unfortunately cliched "have you received Jesus as your personal savior?" I choose to define such a cosmic wonder as being Reconciled, because it is entirely scriptural and utterly realistic: In addition to being Saved, from sin, the enemy, death itself and an eternity estranged from our Creator, God takes the individual through acceptance of His Son as Lord of Life, all in all, through the awesome powerful Holy Ghost, or Spirit, and makes him or her entirely NEW. Past is gone, as it should be, and NOW becomes a moment of action, decision. Knowing of the life and goodness of Christ Jesus we may invest wholly in His magnificent lordship. He will in no wise disappoint...ever. Scripture records his promise to never, ever leave or forsake us. He meant it and means it still. Kierkegaard's existentialism focused on this mightiest of decisions as the only decision that really ultimately matters. "IF anyone is In Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, that is, that GOD was IN CHRIST reconciling the world to himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation. Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ's behalf, be reconciled to God" II Corinthians 5: 17-20. In other words, invest your life in Christ, (by default the Father and the Holy Spirit), and you'll be made Right, as opposed to completely wrong in all regards. (And this brings us beyond THUS FAR, to NOW. What...will...we...do?)
Spurgeon rightly puts the crux of the matter on FAITH, the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen. "The life of faith is represented as receiving -- an act which implies the very opposite of anything like merit. It is simply the acceptance of a gift. As the earth drinks in the rain, as the sea receives the streams, as night accepts light from the stars, so we, giving nothing, partake freely of the gift and the grace of God. Living water flows. The idea of receiving implies a sense of realization, making the matter a reality. One cannot very well receive a shadow; we receive that which is substantial: so it is in the life of faith, Christ becomes real to us. While we are without faith, Jesus is a mere name to us -- a person who lived a long time ago, so long ago that his life is only history to us now! By an act of faith Jesus becomes a real person in the consciousness of our heart. But receiving also means grasping or getting possession of. The thing which I receive becomes my own: I appropriate to myself that which is given. When I receive Jesus, he becomes my Savior, so much mine that neither life nor death shall be able to rob me of him. All this is to receive Christ -- to take him as God's free gift; to realize Him in my heart, and to appropriate him as mine.
Salvation may be described as the blind receiving sight, the deaf receiving hearing, the dead receiving life; but we have not only received these blessings, we have received Christ Jesus. It is true that He gave us life from the dead. He gave us pardon of sin; he gave us imputed righteousness. These are all precious things, but we are not content with them; we have received Christ Himself. The Son of God has been poured into us and we have received Him, and appropriated Him. What a heartful Jesus must be, for heaven itself cannot contain him!"
So this is our NOW; we decide, invest in the eternal rather than the temporal, and become NEW. Our THUS FAR becomes of greater substance, an epic ongoing adventure into eternity itself, to our Creator himself...true importance. Now we may dwell on the Present and our eternal Future. Spurgeon elsewhere says he who chooses to disregard this most excellent of all decisions is worse than a fool, he is a madman, and I suppose that is true. I was a madman once, and I want no more of it. Our sublime Present, in the constant companionship of Father, Son and Spirit, and our wonderful Future, abiding with Him still, is greatness in every regard. Now on to more, and more...
Blogo Numero Tres
"How It Works"
In A.A. we have a thing called "How it Works," and a mantra, of many, to "Keep coming back; It Works!" And, "It Works if you Work it!" (And all are truisms.) Work is largely antithetical to a great many of our modern societal contemporaries. We tend to want everything handed to us, we deserve it. I began early, tending the yard, hoeing weeds for Mamou and Mom, basic chores of the household. Then at ten I began working at the store. I became a fountain boy, or a soda jerk (because they jerked the handles that brought forth carbonated drinks and floats (fountain drinks with ice cream added). I was proficient in banana splits, sundaes, myriad toasted sandwiches, a wide range of beverages and coffee, gallons daily to the many downtown employees and shoppers. This is where I learned that WORK IS GREAT! Especially now that I have 10 decades and a year into this brief earthly tenure and my abilities to do so many things, including working a job or jobs, have put me on my back and largely useless, workwise. I dearly miss it, and fail to see the attraction of retiring when so much there is to be done in a world where working yields such profound reward. Work provides accomplishment, and oh, how I loved Saturdays when Dad gave me a check for my work, then cashed it from the pharmacy cash register (sometimes the fountain register, or the "front" register, for all the many sundries. I was so proud, a feeling carried throughout my lifetime every time I received payment for services rendered. From librarian, to janitor, caretaking dressage thoroughbreds, assembling mainframe computer housings, apartment management, molybdenum mine train operator and chuteman, prison guard, orderly for the mentally challenged, IBM operator, TIME Inc. cable manager, school teacher, recording/fine arts studio entrepreneur, ranch hand, musical tutor -- even tennis instructor; all these endeavors were highly rewarding.
The subject of work leads ultimately to the greatest accomplishment known; the WORK of GOD for humankind, requiring only our acquiescence. Our participation only comes from letting God be God and accepting Him, inviting Him, in all He is, to dwell in our hearts, rather afar and estranged. The greatest reward for the least effort; a New Nature, eternal life, your heart's desires, ultimate companionship.
So how does our capitulation, our admittance that we are nothing and He is everything, WORK for us? That, is the great theme I have discovered as the greatest thing of all, the thesis statement I've repeated so much so far. It WORKS like this (I'll use this passage of divine scripture to explain): IF you are in Christ, you are a new creation (have become new)...this begins Paul's second letter to the believers in Corinth, Corinthians 5:17-21. This, I call the granddaddy Reconciliation passage, one of three in the Bible specifically explaining the fine art of becoming New (Reconciliation): IF, the biggest if of your life, you are IN Christ (you're either IN or OUT, there is no middleway). To be in something, a car, a house, a plane, a suit of clothes; is to be there, not elsewhere at that moment. Just because we cannot see the spiritual world, the realities of a triune God, it does not mean it's not there. The only sure way to know this reality is to invest in the reality itself; that's the way it WORKS. You give yourself to God, He manifests Himself to you. The magnificence of this follows: "...you are a new creation, old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." So step one of how it works is surrender, step two is becoming new as a result of newness in Christ. No two people are alike and the experience of being reborn is utterly unique. One may feel ecstatic, euphoric, as Spurgeon did, one may feel little at all. There is no measure to assess this immediate transformation. It just is. And time proves the substance of the simple faith transaction. God becomes as real, even more real, than anything we see or feel with our senses. This is the dynamic, and it works, 100 percent. (Granddaddy passage continues:..."Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to himself through Christ Jesus, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation..."The rest we will disseminate duly, for now we'll digest this Grand Working of above, to us here below, contemplating the cosmic, eternal repercussions; God in His creation, man/woman, as the Westminister Confession, the primary contract for protestantism, says: :What is the primary aim for God's people? To glorify God, and enjoy Him forever."
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